We spend an awful lot of time sharing beautiful images of our custom wedding invitations, and while the pretty factor is a big part of it, there are so many practical conversations that go into the process too. Around our table here at Dodeline, we often discuss many logistics of the wedding before we even begin on the design. Let’s dive in!
Location
The location of the wedding is obviously one of the two most important things to communicate in the invitation packet. If you’re wedding is only at one venue, it’s very straightforward, but if you have a ceremony and a reception location, you may struggle with how to present that information.
Traditionally, the reception was placed on a completely separate card. Nowadays, we more often see people including the reception on the invitation itself. We tend to like using the separate card on really formal, traditional suites and/or when there is a gap of time between the ceremony and the reception.
What do we mean by that? Some churches and faiths only allow weddings to take place earlier in the day, so there could be several hours between the end of the ceremony and the reception. We find that using the separate card helps to signal that time difference. Additionally, it saves you from having to write a second time on the invitation panel itself.
Here is how you communicate the location in several different scenarios.
Ceremony & Reception in the Same Place: list the location and at the bottom write “Reception to follow”
Ceremony & Reception in Different Places but no time gap: ceremony is listed first, and then at the bottom “Reception to follow at……” (you can still choose to do a reception card if you want)
Ceremony & Reception in Different Places with significant time gap: ceremony is listed on the invitation and nothing is written at the bottom (i.e. NO reception to follow wording). Then reception information is on a separate card. Alternatively, you can list the reception at the bottom with “Reception to follow at TIME at VENUE”
One final note on location: zip codes are not listed on formal wedding invitations.
Attire
We have gone around and around at our table with couples debating just the right attire wording. Ultimately, you don’t have to put an attire not in your custom wedding invitations at all; however, it can be helpful to give your guests some guidance. If you opt not to include it in the invitation package, the website is a great place to put it and you can also be a little wordier there.
When you’re planning a black tie wedding, we do recommend that you put that in the invitation somewhere so no one is embarrassed to show up not wearing a tux. Black Tie means that you expect tuxedos for men and long formal gowns for women, so it’s best to let them know. Traditionally, the attire note is placed at the bottom right of the invitation panel. From a design perspective, sometimes we don’t love how that looks so our couples may opt to center it or to move that note to the details card.
Other attire possibilities include “Black Tie Optional” / “Black Tie Preferred” (this one really just means black tie, to be honest, but sometimes people like this option) / “Formal Attire” / “Semi-formal attire” / “Cocktail Attire” etc.
You may also have other events being mentioned in the invitation package on a details card, like a welcome party or brunch. If you do indicate attire for the wedding, it’s nice to also indicate it for those events. Usually those are more casual (but not always of course) and may say things like “Resort Casual” or “Smart Casual” or often “Come as You Are” for a brunch when you know people are heading out of town.
Wording
In many cases, the wording for the invitation is completely formulaic and straightforward. Sometimes it’s not, though, and that’s why working with a wedding invitations designer is so important. Because we’re not using templates, we can design the typography and wording to suit whatever you need.
Traditionally, an invitation would read like so:
Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride’s First & Middle Name
to
Groom’s Full Name
Date & Time (all spelled out)
Venue Name
City, State
(See notes above for handling the reception part)
That said, nowadays many couples are hosting their own wedding or the families are coming together to make it happen. You may choose to use something like “Together with their families/parents” instead of listing parents by name. If it’s truly just the couple putting on the big day, then even that line may be omitted. Here’s an example:
Together with their families
Bride’s Full Name
and
Groom’s Full Name
invite you to celebrate
at their wedding
Date & Time (all spelled out)
Venue Name
City, State
(See notes above for handling the reception part)
One of the other etiquette notes that still applies is the line “request the honour of your presence.” That phrase is used when the wedding is being held at a place of worship. If not, you would use the line “request the pleasure of your company.” In the event that you don’t like either of those, sometimes we see variations like “invite you to celebrate at their wedding” or “invite you to share in their joy as they are married.”
How to RSVP
Since the pandemic, we’re seeing a trend of more people using online RSVP options instead of the traditional mailed. At this time, we would say it’s about half and half. There are good reasons for both options and it’s another time when your wedding invitation designers can make all the difference – we can accommodate any design or setup you need for your stationery suite.
Why use a traditional mailed RSVP?
There are several reasons the traditional RSVP is still a good choice. Because our world has become more digital, there is something a little bit more “committed” feeling for your guests when they mail back an official yes/no as opposed to a quick text or email. It takes a little more effort and for something as big as a wedding day we don’t think that’s a bad thing.
Additionally, if design is your thing, it gives you a place to add a pop of color or some more interest with that envelope and return card.
Lastly, we have the ability to send different reply cards to different people. For example, one guest might be invited to the rehearsal dinner and another is not, so you send them customized return cards. At Dodeline, we do that all the time! It makes it so your guests can reply all in one place only to the events to which they are invited.
Why do an online RSVP?
Online RSVPs are particularly helpful if you have a lot of international invitees because of the slow speed of international mail service. It can also be faster for your guests as they don’t need to get a card to the mailbox, but as noted above sometimes we find that means they don’t give as much thought to their response.
If you’re moving or travel a lot, online can also be better as you know you won’t be there to check your mail regularly.
Other Events
When you’re planning a destination wedding, you’re often asking your guests to travel quite a long way. Many of your guests might also be friends or family members that you don’t see very often, so it’s nice to plan more than one gathering for the group. In that case, how do you share that information with everyone?
One option is to send all the additional party invitations separately. This method has the advantage of letting different people take charge of different events – i.e. the hosts of the rehearsal dinner can handle it instead of the bride and groom. You also might want the various parties to have completely different styles than the wedding, so sending them separately is a good way to have unique designs.
As a wedding invitations designer, we often choose instead to include a details card in the custom wedding invitations. This card can list all the events in order so that your guests know exactly what they’re invited to and when. Here at Dodeline, we will even create different versions of those cards for you so that you can customize who is invited to each event.
Here is an example of how a wedding details card might read:
The Wedding Weekend
Friday, October 13, 2023
Welcome Party
7pm
Upstairs at Midtown
Charleston, South Carolina
Saturday, October 14, 2023
Ceremony & Reception
5pm
Lowndes Grove
Charleston, South Carolina
Sunday, October 15, 2023
Farewell Brunch
11AM
The Smith Home
Mount Pleasant, South Carolina
For more details, please visit XXX.
Transportation
As part of the details card, you may also want to mention transportation. If you are providing it for your guests, it can be smart to let them know. We don’t usually put the actual times in the invitation so that you have the option to tweak those later once your RSVPs have arrived. However, simply adding a line like, “Transportation will be provided to and from the wedding venue. Please check the website closer to the wedding date for pickup locations and times.”
Accommodations
Depending on your wedding location, accommodations could be another key element to mention on a details card. If it’s in a more remote location, there might not be many options so giving your guests guidance as to where to stay could be invaluable. Conversely, in a location with lots of options, it’s helpful to narrow it down for them!
Hotel blocks are often harder to arrange these days, so you might include a “Suggested Accommodations” section on your website or in your custom wedding invitations even if you don’t have a reserved block. In super popular destinations – Charleston being one of them! – we sometimes share the accommodations information with the save the date as hotel options will be a lot more limited by the time the wedding invitations are mailed.
Wedding Registry
While society is generally much more relaxed these days, one etiquette tradition we like to see maintained is not including a registry in your wedding invitation. The wedding invitation is meant to be just that – an invitation. Any mention of gifts – even that you don’t want them – is something we recommend against. The invitation should be about enjoying each other’s company and gifts are a secondary element of that. This is the perfect use for a wedding website – find a place to include that link and any registry information can be listed there.
Engagement Photos
You go to so much trouble to take these beautiful photos, and where should they go? Typically, we don’t use them in the proper invitation, but the save the date is an excellent place to showcase those beautiful images. Additionally, make sure to include the wedding website on your save the date and fill up the website with lots of beautiful images from your engagement shoot! If you’re not a photo person, you can read more about unique save the date ideas here.
In Conclusion
There’s a lot more than just aesthetics to consider when it comes to your wedding stationery, which is why working with an experienced wedding invitations designer is a smart decision. At Dodeline Design, we’ve bee designing and producing custom wedding invitations since 2009, so we know our stuff! We’d love to chat with you in person or on the phone to get the custom design process started.
Reach out to us at Dodeline Design if you’d like to discuss your Big Day! Additionally, follow us on Instagram to see all the latest work and behind the scenes fun.
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